Tired! Confused! Afraid! Anxious! Happy!

Today, I'm quite happy, can actually do what I can do.. Is SHE happy today? I won't know.. Whether she is happy with my presence.. Or will she feel irritated by me? Haiz.. This is Confused!

BSMM last practice was today.. Phew.. I can't say that our team is perfect.. But it is fine!! It is!! Damn tired la.. This is Tired!!

Tomorrow is the big day for us.. Fuyoh.. Damn scared leh... Pengakap and Pandu Puteri are getting somewhere near us leh.. KRS is still unknown to us.. But they are good too... Whereas Kadet Polis is very disciplined.. 1 of our tough competitor indeed.. But I'm afraid of Pengakap the most.. They're formation is way too good for showing off to VIP but not outside competitions.. So I damn scared that they'll get high points.. hope that we can survive the "war" la!! If we win eh.. Sure we will be crazy... This is Afraid! and Anxious!

What is Happy! then? Happy! is 1)When I'm with HER.. When I gave HER lollipops.. Haha... 2)When Sin Wei was having her birthday party.. When I'm eating her cake... When we completed our practice with perfection!

So.. Tomorrow I'm giving my everything for both BSMM and of course ???.... Hope that we'll win la.. Hehe..

Tired!!! Tired!!! Tired!!!

Today was the tour to the HELP college... I didn't went there.. I skipped school... But from Chen Shin I heard that it was tiring... But compared to mine.. Mine should be worse...

Wake up early in the morning to wake my sis cuz she got school... Then I need to take my shower cuz 9 am there will be water treatment going on... I need to go to shopping centreS to look for cheapest sweets to buy... So I went to 3 shopping centres today.. After that.. I still have to go from tuition at 2.30-745 p.m. Then I need to take LRT and bus back home.. So I'm back around 10 p.m.

Today was interesting... I dunno why.. Today in tuition keep laughing and having wide smiles... Maybe because of.....

HELP!!!

Today, my class is going to HELP college..(guess what? I wrote this post when they've just started to move okay? so don't judge my English and say that I'm wrong to put "is going to HELP college"..

Too bad.. I'm not going... It's a waste of time.. I'll just stay at home.. Then I'll go to shopping centre to buy some needs for the marching competition this saturday.. And of course teacher's sweets and Shen Xi's sweets too!!(Haiz... She called me to buy la.. Then must buy lo.. I might charged double.. LOLX)

And I'm going to tuition today for 4 classes.. So I can skip my class tomorrow.. Saving my money...

Yeah, dunno why I'm getting more and more EMO nowadays... Hope that I can remain calm from love... MUST STUDY!!! No time to play around already... But it still depends on the situation la... Haha... If the girl I like is more clever than me.. Then I can learn from her and also pikat her at the same time..Haha.. "catch" two birds with a "net"... LOLX

Happy...

I'm happy today...

Fuyoh...
Without reason...
I feel that I'm so happy...
It's like having fresh shashimi in Japan...
Very happy...

Is it because of THAT?
Hmm...
Who knows?

ZzZzZzZz

Changing EMO mode....

IN...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...

Congratulations....
Now you're official PEMO-BEAR!!!(which means PEDO-EMO-BEAR!!)
LOLX

Confused

What shall I do? Am I really like this?

Why I can't feel anything when I'm beside her?
I swore that I'd wait for her until SPM later,
But my heart for her is slowly fading away...
Why can't I wait for her?

Now..
Why do I feel something when I'm beside HER?
I can't like HER..
For SHE is just my friend..
And SHE got an admirer which is better than me...
With what I'm allowed to compete with HIM?
HE treats HER nice...
I can see that..
For HE is my friend;
For I know HIM...

Last time, I used to like HER..
But i cant... She had been taken then...
Until this year..
SHE remained single again...
Now... 2 years later...
I am confused...
Whether who should I choose?

SHE treats me with care..
In fact,
SHE treats everyone with care...
HER smiles are as sweet as chocolate...
A very friendly person indeed..

But still...
I can't like HER...
SHE is way too good to be mine...
So I'll just let go of this feeling...
This would be the first time that I want to stop this feeling...
But can I?
Haven't even tried to go for her...
Lets just wait and see...

Leader

Leader,
Is the one that must take charge,
Is the one that should take care.

Without the leader,
It is like missing an eye of a needle;
Without it,
What is the use of that needle?

Without the leader,
It is like a flock of lost sheep;
Without the shepherd,
The sheep will be swarmed by wolves.

A leader,
Must have courage,
Must have ideas,
Must have charisma.
And most importantly,
Must have a kind heart.

Future leaders..
My requirements for a great leader is not long,
but its hard to achieve..
Many got plenty of the above..
But what use?
Even if you do not have a kind heart in leadership..
Nobody will work for you..
Even if you lack charisma by a little...
The team wont expand..

I can't say I'm a great leader,
In fact,
I'm not a good leader also.
But I do hope for the future...
That someone may take over my place...
That can make me feel relieved..
For He/She can handle without my worries..